


Did You Forget Lafayette?

by BlueGirl22



Category: Hamilton - Miranda
Genre: Canon Era, Crack, Gen, George "i knew a man like u but he wore a headband" washington, No one notices, alexander "ur hair is down u a different man" hamiton, au in which jefferson and madison are just laf & herc wearing bad disguises, lafayette is gonna get sooo confused
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-06-27
Updated: 2016-06-30
Packaged: 2018-07-18 13:15:46
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 3
Words: 1,464
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7316656
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/BlueGirl22/pseuds/BlueGirl22
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Laf and Herc wanted to play a silly three-second joke on Alexander. The plan was to get him hyped to meet "Jefferson" and "Madison", just for them to walk in wearing costume, and there to be laughter. They get confused when no one realizes that Jefferson and Madison don't exist, and that they are just wearing different hairstyles.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. This is the best idEA EVER!

Lafayette had  _ never  _ thought of such a good plan before.

 

He and Hercules were going to troll Hamilton  _ so hard _ . He came up with the idea as he finished up the Declaration of the Rights of Man and of the Citizen. The second it popped into his head, he sent off a note to Hercules to see if he wanted to play along, too. He thought about the American Declaration of Independence, and how no one  _ really  _ knew who had written it. What if, and here was the really good part, what if  _ Lafayette made up and pretended to be that guy _ ? That would be  _ la meilleur _ . 

Lafayette had always been dramatic, so this person would need to be quite the character. He would need a name that sounded believable. Thomas was a good name, but Thomas what? Thomas Jorgensen… Jackson… Thomas  _ Jefferson _ . That sounded right. Now, what kind of person was Thomas Jefferson? Kind of an asshat. Scratch that, a  _ complete  _ asshat. He was That Guy who turns up to every event in neck-to-floor velvet.  _ Purple  _ velvet, for extra asshatishness. Thomas exudes a “Look at me. No, I said look at me. That isn’t me. Why the ACTUAL FUCK are you looking at something that isn’t me.” vibe. 

And what should tie-up this over-the-top ball of vanity? Oh,  _ of course _ , an obsession with France. Thomas is a man who can and will mention France in a single sentence more times than several French people will in their collective lives. Lafayette had fun thinking of the details of his boat trip to the newly-formed USA. He had gotten a letter back from Hercules just before he set off. Hercules had said that this was going to be the funniest thing ever, and that he had taken to writing to Hamilton as his own character, the permanently sick and terminally shy James Madison. Lafayette had laughed so loudly that he had woken Adrienne when he read that line. That was least “Hercules Mulligan” character description he had ever read.

Well, apparently “James Madison” wrote at great length about his good friend and colleague, Thomas Jefferson, so Alexander was going to be prepared for the arrival of this new figure. In moments of boredom in his cabin, Lafayette practiced his American accent. Of course, it wasn’t really that hard. When you figure out how to spit out fifteen words of any language in under three seconds, you become its master. 

Yeah, this may seem like a lot of work for a joke that will come to fruition the moment Hamilton sees them, but y’know what, it was fun putting all this together. Probably the best part was, upon the ship’s arrival, seeing the ridiculous costumes that Herc had put together. The un-Herculanean gray, and the silly velvet masterpiece. They changed quickly in Herc’s shop, and gazed at each other with barely contained giggles. Lafayette, as a final touch, unwrapped the headband from the slightly smaller man’s head, and shook out his own hair. Hercules gave up trying to stay composed as Lafayette’s hair sprung everywhere. 

Herc doubled over laughing. The laughter dissolved into coughing, and he said, in a very serious voice, “Thomas, how was your time in France?” 

Lafayette, determined to not been shown-up by Herc’s vocal abilities, decided it was time to test his Virginian drawl, “Why, James, it was one of the best experiences of my life. Though, I did hurt my wrist while I was trying to vault a fence.”

“Madison” gave him a withering look. “Hey, what can I say James, _ il était pour une fille _ .”

More laughter. Lafayette succumbed to the silliness of the situation as well. After a minute, they tried to compose themselves, and headed out.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> If you're trash and you know it clap your hands!
> 
> *clapclapclapclapclapclap*


	2. Whaaaaat?

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> These disguises are better than they thought.

“Mr. Jefferson, Alexander Hamilton.”

Lafayette was confused. Hamilton and Washington showed absolutely  _ no sign _ of getting the joke. Either they had become very good at dead panning in the short time he and Herc had been away, or something was very wrong. Alexander’s expression was completely serious as they shook hands. They must just be playing along, right? Lafayette pulled Hercules aside for a moment before the cabinet meeting began.

“Should we be worried?” 

Laf glanced around at the people gathered. “I’d say we wait until after this. If they still don’t notice that Jefferson and Madison, do not, infact, exist at all, then we can worry.”

Herc nodded, and they took their places. During the cabinet meeting, Laf decided that he would put some flair into this performance. He took the most unbelievable stance; that of a hypocrite who hates Hamilton’s plan. That alone should have been enough to give away that Jefferson was in no way a real dude. I mean, who could hate Hamilton’s plan? It was ingenious. Plus, Laf still looked like Laf. The only change he had made to his appearance was taking out his hair ribbon. Hercules had made even less change to his appearance. Though, admittedly, he did seem six-inches-shorter in personality.

Yet, Alexander still showed no sign of seeing the glaringly obvious truth. Jesus, Lafayette hadn’t seen him go off on someone like this since The Historic Roast of Samuel Seabury. How on Earth did he remain so blind? Lafayette and Hercules tried to make it mind-numbingly clear the charicitureness of their characters, but to no avail. Seriously, what actual human says the words, “Aha-ha-ha ha!”??????? Well, Thomas Jefferson does, according to Hamilton.

Later, in private, Lafayette ranted about his worries to Hercules. He had been going for several minutes, when Herc put a hand on his shoulder, and another in front of him in a calming gesture. 

“Laf, Laf, calm down.” he said.

“ _ Oui _ ?”

“Laf, I haven’t understood a word you said for the past ten minutes. You are speaking French. Didn’t you notice?”

“Oh… um, no  _ je n’ai pas _ . I mean, I didn’t. Sorry. What do you think we should do?”

“I say…” he paused, with a pensive expression. “I say, we wait a little, just until somebody notices. I mean, somebody has gotta notice, right? It’s not like it should take that long.”

“It  _ shouldn’t  _ take long. It shouldn’t have even taken today. What if no one ever realizes that we are us?”

“Come on, that’s not gonna happen.”


	3. You want a revolution, I want a revelation!

“Thomas” and “James” silently strolled down a New York street. It had been  _ fucking years _ , and someone was yet to bat an eyelash. Lafayette has taken the stance of Do Not Think About It Gilbert, If You Do Not Think About, It Will Cease To Be An Issue. He and Hercules saw plenty of people who had know then pre-Yorktown each day, but everyone must have taken the same crazy pills.

Further down the street, they saw Alexander, Eliza, and a smaller figure walking towards them. Lafayette assumed the smaller figure must be the much discussed Philip, but whoever it was was slightly too far away for him to make out specific facial features. As the two groups of people passed each other, carefully avoiding any eye contact, Lafayette had to make a double-take.

Philip looked like,  _ well _ , he looked exactly like John Laurens, except with shoes attached to his knees and his hair down. But it couldn’t be. Must just be a trick of the eye. He exchanged a glance with Hercules, who shrugged. They kept walking.

* * *

 

“And who provided those funds?” Lafayette pointed at Herc, who, as usual, was perfectly in character with his “Uhh, France?”

This charade was getting really out of hand. Well, I say  _ getting _ . Laf was feeling offended that Alexander wasn’t on the side of sending aid to France. Of course, he understood that the American economy was, delicate, to say the least, but still. For all Alexander knew, his friend’s head could be the next one in a basket. 

Laf decided to throw any he had left subtlety to the wind after the debate itself ended.

“Did you forget Lafayette?”

“What?”  _ Oh, oh my _ . Alexander was so close. He could see it in his eyes. He was squinting.

“Have you an ounce of regret? You accumulate debt, you accumulate power, yet in their hour of need you forget.” Please, for the love of God man,  _ use your fucking eyes _ .

Alex stared at him for a second, and a spark of hope lit in Laf’s heart.

“Lafayette’s a smart man, he’ll be fine.” That spark of stamped out by the foot of oblivious politicians. “And before he was your friend he was mine.”

Something snapped in Laf’s brain. He pulled the hair back from around his face and tied it with a piece of thread dangling from his purple sleeve. 

“If we try to fight in ever-” All color drained from Alexander’s face as he slipped backwards off of his feet. 

“ _ Oh shit _ .”

“Oui, mon ami.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I would just like you to imagine Peggy, annoyed at not being invited on the trip upstate, inventing Maria Reynolds to do some damage to those who have shunned the most important Schuyler sister.


End file.
